September first was a big day in moving more toward being healthy. Since I broke my leg, almost two years ago, I've been pretty inactive. It didn't heal well. So, the joint was cleaned out and the hardware was removed. Yes it is hurting, but I can already tell a difference. I realized last week that my feet have felt SO MUCH better. I was constantly shoving my shoes off my feet. They were swollen and the pain & pressure would just get too overwhelming. Yesterday was the first time I've felt this way since the surgery. I'm so encouraged!!
I realize that pain came from a busy week. A friend had driven me to go in for the post op visit on Friday, the 11th. This was a three hour drive, one way. To the Seattle area. So, a long day. Saturday I took it easy. Sunday, we drove two hours to go to a BBQ that some friends were having. In Spokane. Monday, I rested again. Then Tuesday, I learned that there was a free "balance" class in town for older people. Since my balance has been off since I broke my leg, I decided to go. I did a bit too much. The next day I drove to Spokane again and got a massage. Then I drove another hour for an appointment. I was exhausted. But it is all good. I'm taking care of me. Something, I wasn't able to do for many years. Thursday was the Balance class again and I took it easier on myself. Friday, we went to Moses Lake (half an hour away) and did a bunch of things there. So, no wonder I hurt.
I've been pleased with the progress so far. The surgeon said I'd need the walker two to three weeks. I haven't used it much. I always take the cane when I go out. Most of the time at home, I can just walk around the house. I try to make sure I keep something in my system for pain and that helps me to move better.
So, what is next? A knee replacement that I had hoped to avoid. But, I won't get better if I don't. And the surgeon told my hubby to not expect me to get back to what I was. But, I AM ready to get to where I can function better. I gained a lot of weight after I broke my leg. I'm thinking about what I need to do to take care of that problem. I'm starting to do things to help my PTSD from the stress I've had in life. I'm excited to go into retirement mode when hubby retires. We don't just want to sit around. We want to travel, see grandkids more, and who knows what all else we will try. Life is good. I choose the good life!!!
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Saturday, February 7, 2015
God's Timing - WOW
We got the news about two weeks ago that our son was in trouble with the law and no longer in the boy's home my husband had taken him to. We have both been saddened by what he has done and yet we know that God is working in his life and in ours. We have come to realize that we needed to release him to God. I'm amazed as I look at what God has done in our home over the last few years. My husband and I were not on the same page about what needed to happen regarding our son. I decided to be patient and wait for him to realize what I knew. Was I totally silent? Was I frustrated? Was I discouraged? Did I feel like "making him see it my way?" No, to totally silent but yes to the rest of the questions and even more questions.
I did bring up the subject once in awhile. I worked hard to not be a "nag." My husband says that I wasn't. I was VERY frustarted that he couldn't see what I saw. I learned to keep quiet about this most of the time. Yep, I'm not perfect in anything I resolve to do or be. Some days, I was so discouraged!! I didn't know how much longer I could stay "stuck" in the in between. And yet, I'm still here "stuck in the in between" and coping with it well most of the time. It has made it easier to stay "stuck" since my husband has seen what the situation really was. Occasionally, I'd try to make him "see it my way." This wasn't very productive. He needed to experience his own coming to that point.
My husband needed to see what was "sick" after our second attempt at finding him help in another boys home. He went to work when our son was home (before the first home and in the five months he was home before we found the second home). Going to work gave him a reprieve from the chaos I was dealing with every day. When our son was going to be "kicked out" of another home for his behavior, my husband & a friend drove to pick him up. There was no way he could come home. BECAUSE...
In the meantime, God broke my leg!!! YES!!! I see this as a method God took to direct us. My husband had had an opportunity through this to understand how much more vulnerable I was to our sons antics. My balance has been off since I broke my leg. At 8-9 years of age, our son had started physically pushing me. At 14, he could've easily knocked me over. If he could do this, he would develop a greater sense of power to be used over people. My husband has spent a lot of time in the last 15 months caring for me, helping me with what I'm unable to do, encouraging me to do more when he sees I can, helping me make progress in healing. And not just the physical healing. There have been many things that we have talked through since "I broke." It has been GOOD!!!
I've sensed for a number of years that our son only sees us as a "way to reconnect with his sister." This would be damaging for BOTH children. I can't prevent it and yet, it is unhealthy for this to be what our relationship with our son is about. For us AND FOR HIM. We don't know where his sister is and I'm fine with that. I know that he won't accept that. All he talked about in the five months home was wanting his sister. And, he acted out in deeper ways. That showed us we can't be family.
In releasing him to God, I'm trusting God to do what is needed in his life to bring him to HIM. I have no control over what our son thinks about, chooses to do, responds to. I know that God is a MUCH better parent for him than I could ever be. He is ALWAYS LOVING... I fail at that. HE has the POWER to CHANGE a LIFE... I don't. Yes, I can be used and yet I feel at peace about "letting go to let God."
Do I wish I hadn't broken my leg??? ABSOLUTELY!!! But, I'm content in knowing that God was in charge of this event in my life. I know that HE is preparing us for a future that I only dream about. We both have thoughts on how we want to serve God and wait to see what he brings to us.
I did bring up the subject once in awhile. I worked hard to not be a "nag." My husband says that I wasn't. I was VERY frustarted that he couldn't see what I saw. I learned to keep quiet about this most of the time. Yep, I'm not perfect in anything I resolve to do or be. Some days, I was so discouraged!! I didn't know how much longer I could stay "stuck" in the in between. And yet, I'm still here "stuck in the in between" and coping with it well most of the time. It has made it easier to stay "stuck" since my husband has seen what the situation really was. Occasionally, I'd try to make him "see it my way." This wasn't very productive. He needed to experience his own coming to that point.
My husband needed to see what was "sick" after our second attempt at finding him help in another boys home. He went to work when our son was home (before the first home and in the five months he was home before we found the second home). Going to work gave him a reprieve from the chaos I was dealing with every day. When our son was going to be "kicked out" of another home for his behavior, my husband & a friend drove to pick him up. There was no way he could come home. BECAUSE...
In the meantime, God broke my leg!!! YES!!! I see this as a method God took to direct us. My husband had had an opportunity through this to understand how much more vulnerable I was to our sons antics. My balance has been off since I broke my leg. At 8-9 years of age, our son had started physically pushing me. At 14, he could've easily knocked me over. If he could do this, he would develop a greater sense of power to be used over people. My husband has spent a lot of time in the last 15 months caring for me, helping me with what I'm unable to do, encouraging me to do more when he sees I can, helping me make progress in healing. And not just the physical healing. There have been many things that we have talked through since "I broke." It has been GOOD!!!
I've sensed for a number of years that our son only sees us as a "way to reconnect with his sister." This would be damaging for BOTH children. I can't prevent it and yet, it is unhealthy for this to be what our relationship with our son is about. For us AND FOR HIM. We don't know where his sister is and I'm fine with that. I know that he won't accept that. All he talked about in the five months home was wanting his sister. And, he acted out in deeper ways. That showed us we can't be family.
In releasing him to God, I'm trusting God to do what is needed in his life to bring him to HIM. I have no control over what our son thinks about, chooses to do, responds to. I know that God is a MUCH better parent for him than I could ever be. He is ALWAYS LOVING... I fail at that. HE has the POWER to CHANGE a LIFE... I don't. Yes, I can be used and yet I feel at peace about "letting go to let God."
Do I wish I hadn't broken my leg??? ABSOLUTELY!!! But, I'm content in knowing that God was in charge of this event in my life. I know that HE is preparing us for a future that I only dream about. We both have thoughts on how we want to serve God and wait to see what he brings to us.
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