RAD Becca is Quite Funny

Our trips away from home with Becca get pretty funny sometimes. One trip, we had a bit of time before attachment therapy so we found a place to let the kids play in the snow. "Awesome Mom" had brought all the snow gear to keep them warm. Well, Jonathan decided to pee in his pants during play time, this was discovered as we walked into therapy. He got the special (plastic) chairs all evening. We were informed that he should wear these same clothes all the way home and of course we should make sure it was warm for him since he would get cold in wet clothes. Well, our little 9 year old who used to be cold all the time, seems to have warmed up lately. I suspect that hormones are starting to circulate a bit. For well over an hour, we hear a non-stop verbalization of, "I'm hot, I'm thirsty, it's hot in here, can we turn the heat down? It's hot in here, I'm hot, I'm hot, it's hot in here . . ." It got to the point that I just started cracking up. It was just too funny. And this was after the girl had decided to rage in her snow pants - lol - she kind of got herself started on the overheated track.

Another one of our trips to therapy, we had gone to marriage counseling first and then I took Becca to Toys-R-Us to grab a few gifts real quick them back to pick the guys up. It was a 20 minute drive there. She talked non-stop all the way. She used to be very, very quiet and still is quite often. We pulled off the freeway exit and she figured out where we were going and she says, "I want some ear phones because Jonathan talks all the time." I started chuckling and turned around and gave her a look and she said, "I just talked all the time, didn't I?" lol "Yes, honey, you did. I love you."

It really is quite a relief to be at the point to be able to laugh at the craziness of raising 2 children with attachment disorder. All the manipulation, control issues, trying to one-up me, twist my words, lying, stealing, deceitfulness, hiding things. A lot of it just cracks me up and I start laughing right in front of them. They are trying as hard as they can to make me really mad and I find it hilarious. What is sad is they are the mad ones - so I laugh and love them and call them on it.

My Sweet Becca

Becca wrote a note a few weeks ago, "Jonathan, can you wake me up". Now, you might not think this is such a bad thing but for my children this is VERY serious. Our attachment therapist told us we had to move bedrooms around to get her closer to us because of their behavior and was talking about having to split the kids up. So, when I found this note. I took it seriously and we addressed it in therapy. So here we are 2 1/2 weeks later and I am in a "toss it" mood. I find the note and look inside. It is a paper from church, it has a heart on it that says, "GOD LOOKS AT THE HEART!" I cracked up, she had crossed these words out in the same pen that she had written the note in. Isn't that just like us?!?!?! Actually, it gives me some hope that there is the beginning of a conscience developing in there.

Poor Appetite???

I took Jonathan to the doctor today. He is a petite 7 year old. He asked Jonathan how his appetite is, if he wants to eat much. Jonathan said he didn't feel like eating much. The doctor looked at me. I told him what Jonathan ate for lunch. 2 pieces of toast with white sauce with turkey in it on the toast, about 3/4 cup green beans and about 3/4 cup sweet potatoes. I smiled. I told him that Jonathan told me that he was still hungry and the doctors' eyebrows went up. I told him that the attachment therapist was having us do bottles with the kids so I made a milk mixture for Jonathan and he drank about 4 oz of that and then told me that he was full. He smiled at that. So, the poor boy just doesn't feel like eating much these days. He has been eating like this since he was a 2 year old and is still a skinny little guy. I have had a good chuckle over this all afternoon though. My little cutie pie.

Jonathan

Becca

Stephanie

Amazing Grace

Becca was trying to help Jonathan to learn how to play "Amazing Grace". Jonathan was reading the words and singing as SHE was playing. Did you know that God, "saved a witch like me?"

Nathan

Kids Again - lol

Becca was given the chore of emptying the dishwasher. When I checked on her job, I noticed that there were a LOT of bowls in the dishwasher. I questioned her and she said she had loaded the dirty dishes that were on the counter into the dishwasher. Later, I fixed some noodles for myself and looked for a bowl to put them in - NONE in the cupboard. I thought this was rather strange. She admits to not completely emptying the dishwasher. I tell her to take all the bowls out of the dishwasher and wash them. After she had washed awhile, she says, "the clean bowls are a lot easier to wash." No kidding - lol.

I decided that I needed to let the kids know what is important in life. I said, "I want upi to do what is RIGHT, I don't want you to get yourselves out of trouble." Jonathan looks up with a SHOCKED look and says, "YOU DON'T!!!" Oh, explaining again - lol.

Pediatric Nursing Book

Becca was on the playset reading my old nursing book. Someone (no one will admit who) hid it up there. I had to laugh but still need to confront the issue. Children with attachment disorder who are only 9 and 7, do not need to read about what would be in a college textbook about children. They might learn something that will help them to keep more contol of this house. They already are too good at that - lol.

Dinner

Becca cracked us up at dinner tonight. The kids have been on a restrictive diet since they were very little. Initially, the diet made a HUGE difference. In the last year or so, NOT. So, we have decided to just feed them "whatever" once in awhile in an attempt to work them into a regular diet without throwing them totally off.

Got majorly off topic up there. Anyway, tonight I made tacos. There were a few extras thrown in the meal. Becca took her first bite and got a strange look on her face. I really could not interpret what it meant - quite different! So I asked, "what do you think, Becca?" Her answer? "It's sour, I guess that is why it's called sour cream." We really enjoyed the newness of this experience with her.

Confessions of Two children

Oh the children are so funny! We were each putting a child to bed (about 8:30 pm)when hubby commands, "confession time." I am wondering what in the world is going on as I was just having a great conversation with sweet daughter about being brave enough to yell if she is being mistreated.

So, being the "submissive" wife that I have always been - lol - I in a confused manner tell sweet daughter to go to daddy. He has them do jumping jacks to aid confessions.

I mentioned that my $40 dollars is still missing and out comes information from Becca (9 years old). She confesses to hiding it under the kids computer table. Well, this really got my interest going. I go out to the computer, get down on my hands and knees and take a look. A whole 6 pack package of ice cream sandwiches!!! When we inquired about when she hid them there, she said while she was taking the garbages out. She took the garbages out about 2 pm). Apparently, she doesn't have any concept of how long until things melt?!?!

So, my $40 dollars in supposedly buried out in the yard somewhere by Jonathan (7 years old) who has been saying today that he is going to run away tonight. I say, "Good luck digging it up, son, in the dark and in the rain." I think he has been thinking about this - he had a flashlight hidden yesterday.

The reason my hubby decided it was "confession time?" There is a socket in the freezer and he wanted to know who put it there. Our kids are never boring and life has new twists and turns everyday. I laugh a lot at what they try to pull.

If you are wondering about why my kids are like this? Visit my myspace site.

Ultimate Control

Tonight we were watching a movie, Flicka. Jonathan told me that he wanted to sleep with us tonight. I asked why and he said that he was afraid to go to sleep because he might have bad dreams from the movie. I told him that he would be able to sleep, he takes medication to help him sleep. Then he told me that he could make me go to sleep. I laughed and said, "wow, that is the ultimate control, isn't is son?" After his little pouting session about "being laughed at", we talked about how we just enjoy him. He got the point and laughed at himself when I said, "can I MAKE you poop in your pants?"

Good Deed

My kids are horribly out of control but they can be pretty funny at times. Becca has spent the last 2-3 hours raging outside. Totally out of control. Daddy decided that she needed to come into the house when she put the hose in the mail slot to water the inside of the house. I saw her getting the hose out about an hour ago and gave her a bucket of soapy water. I said, as I put it out the door, "I don't know what you are planning to wash, but here is a bucket of soapy water for you." She immediately replied that she planned to wash the car. So, just a minute ago I asked her why she raged. Her response? She planned to rage so she could go outside because she planned to wash the car. We had to laugh at that one.

Lice

We took Becca out of school on Friday to go to lunch at the local Asian place. We were running out of time so I walked her back to the school while the guys finished up. We were in the school parking lot and she noticed I had something on my shirt. I looked down and noticed a teriaki colored piece of rice. Just as I picked it off my shirt, she said, "I know what that is!", as I popped it into my mouth. As I saw the incredible look of horror on her face, I realized she thought it was a louse. It is lice season at the school. I just had to laugh and told her what it really was - she sure looked relieved.

7 year old RAD son

My little guy - 7 years old has been having tons of raging. He runs from me and yells, "you can't get me". Lately, he has added, "I'm the gingerbread man" to it. I just got online to find the story and reread it. It has been many years since I have read it. When I think about what this story meant to him, it makes me want to cry. Love must be terrifying to him. Here is the link to the site I found. Any ideas on how to undo the impression this story had on him?

http://www.topmarks.co.uk/stories/gingerbread.htm

Denise

New Slideshow

Telling on Self

Last night we got a call from our babysitter. Jonathan had been swinging a stick to hit Becca. When the babysitter went outside to find Becca, who supposedly ran out because she was scared of Jonathan, Jonathan called 911. The police officer got the story and talked to Jonathan about HIS behavior. He basically called the police on himself - lol. Gotta love RAD kids!!!

Humor

Ok, I admit it. I am a blog junkie now. I am going to turn this one more into a humor blog because I found a site that just does homeschool blogs. Blogging has really become an emotional outlet for me and I think a humor one would be good.

So, my first humorous event to record happened the other night. The cat got in the house and headed down the hall toward the kids bedrooms. You have to understand what my sons bedroom smells like. He pees out his anger and so it is QUITE ripe. We have him clean it but he pees more. The odor drifts through the house through the vent system - we have tried to block that but are not completely successful.

Well, as the cat headed down the hall, she was moving along pretty well, then she slowed down at about the bathroom. I caught up to her at this point and picked her up and walked down near my sons door to do something (can't remember what) and noticed the cats nose twitching rapidly. Poor thing, she must have thought someone should clean that big litter box in the house. I just started laughing - which is a good thing. I need to find things to laugh at in the crazy life we live with these 2 kiddos.

Public School Time

Jonathan's teacher caught me today. We will meet next week to discuss how he can succeed in the classroom better. At least she supports the homeschooling - she says he can learn more at home.

Success

We are doing much better at school. Jonathan has really been difficult but I am just pushing him anyway. Becca cooperated VERY well yesterday - it was SO nice. Now that we are getting going and the kids are accepting it better, I am going to get some real planning done. I reorganized the school room and had some confusion on where I had put things - so I have to spend the weekend getting it straightened out so I can function better.

I am also looking into the state virtual academy to take some of the teaching pressure off of me. It is free through the state. I have concerns about the history and we are going to look at it more in depth before we decide what we will do.

Progress!!!

We have made progress this week on getting school done. It has been slow but at least we are getting on track. I am looking into numerous options to help me to keep the parent-child fight down as we work on that bond than my kids need so badly. I feel better and more successful.

Major Classroom Renovation

I rearranged my "schoolroom". I now have 3 different areas that we will work instead of one main place. We will shift places throughout the day to separate the kids at times and to allow them to get up and move.

I bought workbooks and dividers so they can quit saying things like, "(s)he's looking at me", "(s)he stuck her/his tongue out at me", etc. I also have plans to find more videos to teach them about some of the things we study. I am also going to plan some indivdual time for each child - in teaching, allowing freetime and snuggling.

Tomorrow they both attend the public school, that will give me some time to alternate my lesson plans for the week.

Kids Who Make Sure School Doesn't Happen

Randy talked to me the other night about how the kids are hurting themselves when they suceed at keeping me from homeschooling them. I was aware of it but have been very frustrated in figuring out how to solve the problem. He suggested giving them workbook pages and taking the pressure off of me to teach them. As I thought about it yesterday, a number of ideas came to mind. I made a quick stop at a learning store yesterday while we were in Spokane and picked a few items up, including workbooks. I will need to sit down over the weekend to figure out an approach that will take care of the needs of my kids and will also get them working.

They are going to school very part-time at the public school. They attended 1 1/2 days last week and did pretty well. I know full-time would be a disaster for them but hope that they can handle 1 day a week so I can have a break and they can get some social interactions.

Life has been incredibly stressful the last 2 weeks. I planned and arranged a surprise birthday party in Calgary with our older kids for my husband. When we got home Stephanie's cat was really sick and we had to put her down yesterday. And, of course, the kids have reacted to having a weekend away from home and are having a hard time adjusting to the changes in routines.

I really pray that next week will start a little smoother phase for awhile. I am more than ready to get into a good routine.

Wondering What is Next

Becca finally finished her task from last week. It took her a week to work through her issue of fighting Mom as the teacher. I hope she learned that it is not worth the fight for a bit anyway. She has been so much happier all the way around today as she worked hard to accomplish her goal of making me wrong. I had told her that I thought it would take her until Friday to catch up to Jonathan and I. Of course, Jonathan and I have been off school for awhile to help her catch up. I just hope we can keep on track (but a few months behind my plan) for a few weeks. I have some beginnings of a plan to motivate them - I have had a hard time getting the plan totally figured out though. I hope to include things leading up to Disneyland in my plan as we "adventure" in learning about God. I think we will have fun with this if I can just use my brain to plan instead of responding to misadventures. I am tired.

My Patience is Being Tried

As we try to get going on homeschooling; I am finding myself struggling to be patient with my FASD, RAD, ADHD/ADD kids. I want to be a good mom first and then a good teacher, it is so hard. Being challenged constantly drains me. I am determined that we are going to make it and all end up happy in the end that we had this time together. I pray that the kids can make progress in bonding this year. That means I need to work on myself as far as being patient. Never been my best trait - ask my older kids. Oh, the things we have to keep learning!!!

Home School

We have not been very successful in our attempts to get home school going this summer. I am a little frustrated with the many distractions. Science has been the thing that we have all enjoyed the most. We have a garden and have studied plants. It has been so neat to experience the learning.

I am hoping that we can get into a more regular schedule and get things routine this week. We are currently about 2 weeks behind my plans but I really try to not focus on that. The kids have some needs that just have to take priority sometimes.

I have 5 blogs and the focus of this one is going to be on school and home school. The others are: http://latemama2001.spaces.live.com (kids, relationships), http://myspace.com/latemama (foster care; adoption; RAD, FASD, ADHD/ADD kids), http://360.yahoo.com/latemama2001 (projects, trips), www.xanga.com/latemama (mood, God, spiritual. If any of the subjects catch your interest, please feel free to take a look.

Trying to get 2 kids who fight everything to come around

We are trying to get going on our homesschooling for the year. I hve 2 sabatagers: 1 likes to pretent she is stupid and has NEVER seen the subject before. The other just down't want to do any thing that seems like hard work to him. Meanwhile, I feel like I have to do all the work, even to interest them and feel like going to the OLD, OLD, OLD school day. SHAPE THEM UP!!!
Well, I am tired and should just go to bed before I say some really bad thing.

GOOD - Night all.
Denise