I posted about our adoptive son being in trouble with the law. This has been such a sad time of life, regarding how his "real needs" haven't been met. When he got in trouble, he was in his second boys home. From there he went to jail. There was a woman who knew him, that took him into her home. He didn't last long there - a few weeks. What is sad to me, is that I felt he needed to stay in jail. To experience concrete consequences for his behavior. He has had a history of working hard to be annoying. I'm not sure how many placements he's had since. Maybe 3 and has recently blown out of that one. So, he is moving again.
Meanwhile, we are making changes in our life to prepare for my husband to retire within a year. We really enjoy visiting our kids/grandkids. We hope to move closer, so we can see them more. They are growing up too fast. Ages - 7, 5, 3 1/2, 3 1/2, almost 22 months and another one due in Feb.
We got some chickens last March. It has been an interesting experience. And an ENJOYABLE one, for the most part. We have learned so much through having them in our backyard. Continual upgrading their living conditions. We ended up losing our rooster, due to how bad our winter has been. This was hard for us and we miss him. Going out and getting eggs is so much fun. We get more than we can eat. So then, hubby goes into making omelets mode. Which I don't mind at all.
I started a challenge this month that my daughter-in-law told me about. Remove the number of items each day for the date. Ex: One thing out on day one. 27 things out on the 27th. I'm way behind, but WILL get it done. I'm working on puzzles & games at the moment.
Life is full. There is more going on than I've shared; but we will be pretty busy until retirement. We might just go on a long road trip. We want to see all 50 states. We have been to Hawaii, so we can count that done (to help with fianances). I'd also love to see all or most of Canada. We now have a newer travel trailer that we'll enjoy.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Monday, November 21, 2016
What Have I Learned in Life and Things I'm Learning
I plan to change this blog a bit. I'll update a bit on the adoptive kiddos. Life continues to be busy. We have a full life and have been enjoying the addition of grandkids to our family. Our oldest is 7 and the next baby is due in February 2017. Retirement is in the near future. We have a number of things we have/are doing to prepare for this. So, watch for more details of how we are living life. Life is GOOD!
Monday, October 31, 2016
God is Changing Me
I've been thinking for a long time about being more consistent with my blogging. So... Here goes. I have quite a few things that I want to blog about and I have a number of blogsites. I'm going to devote this one to the hard things in life. Now this may sound like it will be a real discouraging subject. But, that isn't my intent.
I have learned SO MUCH in the hard parts of my life. God has used pain to bring about some of the biggest blessings that I have ever experienced. For example, what has happened since I broke my knee. I learned to rely on someone else rather than myself. I've had to learn a new way to balance my life. And, I make mistakes as I continue on this journey. Today, I was up and moving a fair amount. I got quite a bit done. Then, I sat down at a table to write some things out. My knee really started hurting by the time I was done. So I sat in my recliner couch and got my leg up. It took awhile for the pain to ease. But, yes, I got another chance to figure out the balance that is good for me.
In the process over the last three years, I've been learning something I had never understood. I don't have to be hard on myself. I can accept where I'm at. I've made a lot of progress in not feeling guilty for things I thought I should hold onto. I can let go of the sin in my life, the mistakes I make, errors in judgement. I have punished myself FAR MORE than God ever has. He doesn't want me to live life handicapped by guilt. This makes it easier for me to admit my faults, errors, sin.
This blogsite has a lot about what it was like to live with our RAD kiddos. I'll update a bit on that in a later post. This is still an area that I have some struggles in. And yes, growth happens through struggling through what has gone on.
I have learned SO MUCH in the hard parts of my life. God has used pain to bring about some of the biggest blessings that I have ever experienced. For example, what has happened since I broke my knee. I learned to rely on someone else rather than myself. I've had to learn a new way to balance my life. And, I make mistakes as I continue on this journey. Today, I was up and moving a fair amount. I got quite a bit done. Then, I sat down at a table to write some things out. My knee really started hurting by the time I was done. So I sat in my recliner couch and got my leg up. It took awhile for the pain to ease. But, yes, I got another chance to figure out the balance that is good for me.
In the process over the last three years, I've been learning something I had never understood. I don't have to be hard on myself. I can accept where I'm at. I've made a lot of progress in not feeling guilty for things I thought I should hold onto. I can let go of the sin in my life, the mistakes I make, errors in judgement. I have punished myself FAR MORE than God ever has. He doesn't want me to live life handicapped by guilt. This makes it easier for me to admit my faults, errors, sin.
This blogsite has a lot about what it was like to live with our RAD kiddos. I'll update a bit on that in a later post. This is still an area that I have some struggles in. And yes, growth happens through struggling through what has gone on.
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
I Have a New Knee
On December 8th, I got my new knee. I'm already happy that I did. I'm close to being done with physical therapy. I've experienced for the first time in two years being able to walk out of the bedroom without pain. This encourages me.
In the "reality" of my healing, I face that two years of not moving much will involve time to build muscles back up. The other day, my PT helped me with not "waddling as I walk." (My terminology) I practiced that today. I got a lot of practice this morning when I couldn't find my cane. Stairs are coming along pretty well. That has been one of my most frustrating areas over the last two years. It has felt SO GOOD to go up & down stairs in an adult manner, rather than like a toddler.
I have things that motivate me to keep pushing. One thing is my grandkids. I want to be able to do more with them. I've also REALLY missed hiking. I haven't done well on uneven ground yet and this is something I'll need to learn again. It has just been a real relief to make progress this quickly after so long of no progress.
In the "reality" of my healing, I face that two years of not moving much will involve time to build muscles back up. The other day, my PT helped me with not "waddling as I walk." (My terminology) I practiced that today. I got a lot of practice this morning when I couldn't find my cane. Stairs are coming along pretty well. That has been one of my most frustrating areas over the last two years. It has felt SO GOOD to go up & down stairs in an adult manner, rather than like a toddler.
I have things that motivate me to keep pushing. One thing is my grandkids. I want to be able to do more with them. I've also REALLY missed hiking. I haven't done well on uneven ground yet and this is something I'll need to learn again. It has just been a real relief to make progress this quickly after so long of no progress.
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Another Surgery
September first was a big day in moving more toward being healthy. Since I broke my leg, almost two years ago, I've been pretty inactive. It didn't heal well. So, the joint was cleaned out and the hardware was removed. Yes it is hurting, but I can already tell a difference. I realized last week that my feet have felt SO MUCH better. I was constantly shoving my shoes off my feet. They were swollen and the pain & pressure would just get too overwhelming. Yesterday was the first time I've felt this way since the surgery. I'm so encouraged!!
I realize that pain came from a busy week. A friend had driven me to go in for the post op visit on Friday, the 11th. This was a three hour drive, one way. To the Seattle area. So, a long day. Saturday I took it easy. Sunday, we drove two hours to go to a BBQ that some friends were having. In Spokane. Monday, I rested again. Then Tuesday, I learned that there was a free "balance" class in town for older people. Since my balance has been off since I broke my leg, I decided to go. I did a bit too much. The next day I drove to Spokane again and got a massage. Then I drove another hour for an appointment. I was exhausted. But it is all good. I'm taking care of me. Something, I wasn't able to do for many years. Thursday was the Balance class again and I took it easier on myself. Friday, we went to Moses Lake (half an hour away) and did a bunch of things there. So, no wonder I hurt.
I've been pleased with the progress so far. The surgeon said I'd need the walker two to three weeks. I haven't used it much. I always take the cane when I go out. Most of the time at home, I can just walk around the house. I try to make sure I keep something in my system for pain and that helps me to move better.
So, what is next? A knee replacement that I had hoped to avoid. But, I won't get better if I don't. And the surgeon told my hubby to not expect me to get back to what I was. But, I AM ready to get to where I can function better. I gained a lot of weight after I broke my leg. I'm thinking about what I need to do to take care of that problem. I'm starting to do things to help my PTSD from the stress I've had in life. I'm excited to go into retirement mode when hubby retires. We don't just want to sit around. We want to travel, see grandkids more, and who knows what all else we will try. Life is good. I choose the good life!!!
I realize that pain came from a busy week. A friend had driven me to go in for the post op visit on Friday, the 11th. This was a three hour drive, one way. To the Seattle area. So, a long day. Saturday I took it easy. Sunday, we drove two hours to go to a BBQ that some friends were having. In Spokane. Monday, I rested again. Then Tuesday, I learned that there was a free "balance" class in town for older people. Since my balance has been off since I broke my leg, I decided to go. I did a bit too much. The next day I drove to Spokane again and got a massage. Then I drove another hour for an appointment. I was exhausted. But it is all good. I'm taking care of me. Something, I wasn't able to do for many years. Thursday was the Balance class again and I took it easier on myself. Friday, we went to Moses Lake (half an hour away) and did a bunch of things there. So, no wonder I hurt.
I've been pleased with the progress so far. The surgeon said I'd need the walker two to three weeks. I haven't used it much. I always take the cane when I go out. Most of the time at home, I can just walk around the house. I try to make sure I keep something in my system for pain and that helps me to move better.
So, what is next? A knee replacement that I had hoped to avoid. But, I won't get better if I don't. And the surgeon told my hubby to not expect me to get back to what I was. But, I AM ready to get to where I can function better. I gained a lot of weight after I broke my leg. I'm thinking about what I need to do to take care of that problem. I'm starting to do things to help my PTSD from the stress I've had in life. I'm excited to go into retirement mode when hubby retires. We don't just want to sit around. We want to travel, see grandkids more, and who knows what all else we will try. Life is good. I choose the good life!!!
Saturday, February 7, 2015
God's Timing - WOW
We got the news about two weeks ago that our son was in trouble with the law and no longer in the boy's home my husband had taken him to. We have both been saddened by what he has done and yet we know that God is working in his life and in ours. We have come to realize that we needed to release him to God. I'm amazed as I look at what God has done in our home over the last few years. My husband and I were not on the same page about what needed to happen regarding our son. I decided to be patient and wait for him to realize what I knew. Was I totally silent? Was I frustrated? Was I discouraged? Did I feel like "making him see it my way?" No, to totally silent but yes to the rest of the questions and even more questions.
I did bring up the subject once in awhile. I worked hard to not be a "nag." My husband says that I wasn't. I was VERY frustarted that he couldn't see what I saw. I learned to keep quiet about this most of the time. Yep, I'm not perfect in anything I resolve to do or be. Some days, I was so discouraged!! I didn't know how much longer I could stay "stuck" in the in between. And yet, I'm still here "stuck in the in between" and coping with it well most of the time. It has made it easier to stay "stuck" since my husband has seen what the situation really was. Occasionally, I'd try to make him "see it my way." This wasn't very productive. He needed to experience his own coming to that point.
My husband needed to see what was "sick" after our second attempt at finding him help in another boys home. He went to work when our son was home (before the first home and in the five months he was home before we found the second home). Going to work gave him a reprieve from the chaos I was dealing with every day. When our son was going to be "kicked out" of another home for his behavior, my husband & a friend drove to pick him up. There was no way he could come home. BECAUSE...
In the meantime, God broke my leg!!! YES!!! I see this as a method God took to direct us. My husband had had an opportunity through this to understand how much more vulnerable I was to our sons antics. My balance has been off since I broke my leg. At 8-9 years of age, our son had started physically pushing me. At 14, he could've easily knocked me over. If he could do this, he would develop a greater sense of power to be used over people. My husband has spent a lot of time in the last 15 months caring for me, helping me with what I'm unable to do, encouraging me to do more when he sees I can, helping me make progress in healing. And not just the physical healing. There have been many things that we have talked through since "I broke." It has been GOOD!!!
I've sensed for a number of years that our son only sees us as a "way to reconnect with his sister." This would be damaging for BOTH children. I can't prevent it and yet, it is unhealthy for this to be what our relationship with our son is about. For us AND FOR HIM. We don't know where his sister is and I'm fine with that. I know that he won't accept that. All he talked about in the five months home was wanting his sister. And, he acted out in deeper ways. That showed us we can't be family.
In releasing him to God, I'm trusting God to do what is needed in his life to bring him to HIM. I have no control over what our son thinks about, chooses to do, responds to. I know that God is a MUCH better parent for him than I could ever be. He is ALWAYS LOVING... I fail at that. HE has the POWER to CHANGE a LIFE... I don't. Yes, I can be used and yet I feel at peace about "letting go to let God."
Do I wish I hadn't broken my leg??? ABSOLUTELY!!! But, I'm content in knowing that God was in charge of this event in my life. I know that HE is preparing us for a future that I only dream about. We both have thoughts on how we want to serve God and wait to see what he brings to us.
I did bring up the subject once in awhile. I worked hard to not be a "nag." My husband says that I wasn't. I was VERY frustarted that he couldn't see what I saw. I learned to keep quiet about this most of the time. Yep, I'm not perfect in anything I resolve to do or be. Some days, I was so discouraged!! I didn't know how much longer I could stay "stuck" in the in between. And yet, I'm still here "stuck in the in between" and coping with it well most of the time. It has made it easier to stay "stuck" since my husband has seen what the situation really was. Occasionally, I'd try to make him "see it my way." This wasn't very productive. He needed to experience his own coming to that point.
My husband needed to see what was "sick" after our second attempt at finding him help in another boys home. He went to work when our son was home (before the first home and in the five months he was home before we found the second home). Going to work gave him a reprieve from the chaos I was dealing with every day. When our son was going to be "kicked out" of another home for his behavior, my husband & a friend drove to pick him up. There was no way he could come home. BECAUSE...
In the meantime, God broke my leg!!! YES!!! I see this as a method God took to direct us. My husband had had an opportunity through this to understand how much more vulnerable I was to our sons antics. My balance has been off since I broke my leg. At 8-9 years of age, our son had started physically pushing me. At 14, he could've easily knocked me over. If he could do this, he would develop a greater sense of power to be used over people. My husband has spent a lot of time in the last 15 months caring for me, helping me with what I'm unable to do, encouraging me to do more when he sees I can, helping me make progress in healing. And not just the physical healing. There have been many things that we have talked through since "I broke." It has been GOOD!!!
I've sensed for a number of years that our son only sees us as a "way to reconnect with his sister." This would be damaging for BOTH children. I can't prevent it and yet, it is unhealthy for this to be what our relationship with our son is about. For us AND FOR HIM. We don't know where his sister is and I'm fine with that. I know that he won't accept that. All he talked about in the five months home was wanting his sister. And, he acted out in deeper ways. That showed us we can't be family.
In releasing him to God, I'm trusting God to do what is needed in his life to bring him to HIM. I have no control over what our son thinks about, chooses to do, responds to. I know that God is a MUCH better parent for him than I could ever be. He is ALWAYS LOVING... I fail at that. HE has the POWER to CHANGE a LIFE... I don't. Yes, I can be used and yet I feel at peace about "letting go to let God."
Do I wish I hadn't broken my leg??? ABSOLUTELY!!! But, I'm content in knowing that God was in charge of this event in my life. I know that HE is preparing us for a future that I only dream about. We both have thoughts on how we want to serve God and wait to see what he brings to us.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
What A Year Can DO
The past year has been incredibly hard and extremely rewarding. In being in my mid-50's and an incredibly eventful year, it has been a time of rethinking many areas of life. A time of thinking about the goals/desires/needs I have in life. A time to go within and evaluate what I value. It's been a year of doing things I didn't want to do and a year of growing in our marriage.
Eventful??? A bad break of my leg. A deer hitting our van and totaling it. Buying a vehicle that we can use to pull a trailer and adding a car payment. We did more driving to do things we enjoy in the last year than we normally do. We are talking about getting a new travel trailer. Our old one is 37 years old and the wood is soft. So, we've been looking. Both of us each had a month of being pretty sick. Thankfully, we did this separately....
Over the last few years we have enjoyed having one child at a time of some friends come to visit us for awhile. This last year it was hard to do this. This is something we want to do more. Eventually, we'd love to do the same with our grandkids.
My husband said after I broke my leg that he wanted to retire in 2-5 years. We are now at 1-? years - lol. We have talked a lot about what we want retirement to look like. We still have many things to discuss.
We are changing how we handle things with our adoptive son. We know he can't come home. He has been in two homes for boys who have difficulties. First one said he couldn't return when he was home on a visit. Second one was wanting him to leave because he could cause legal trouble for them due to his anger.
My husband has helped me incredibly in the household running. My weight has increased dramatically. I'm doing more of what I don't want to do so much of and less of what I desire to do. I've been on the computer way too much and watched SO MUCH TV. I never thought I'd be totally bored with this lifestyle.
Rewarding??? Changes in our marriage as I haven't been able to do. At first my husband had to do just about everything for me. When you need that much help, it is good to find reasons to laugh. Did you know that men & women pull their pants up differently??? Being on pain meds when I was so helpless brought words out of my mouth I never considering uttering. We have had a lot of fun....
We are discovering more how to disagree while being agreeable. We joke that I'm always right. But when I know I'm wrong, my husband say that my "rightness just isn't complete yet." When we were younger, we thought everything was so much more important than we realize now.
Changes??? I really need to get my weight down so that I can be more active. I've also had a lot of trouble with heartburn. I'm making some big changes to how I eat. My heartburn has been much better with these changes. I've also started to drop a few pounds.
We decided to get a puppy. We did this just as I was finishing up with physical therapy. I was doing pretty well but ended up mostly on the couch for a month. That took me backwards.... Sigh.... Then hubby had about a month on the couch too. The puppy has been a lot of fun but a lot of hard work.
What do I want to do??? Well the list seems to just keep getting longer.... Since I no longer have kids in the house to homeschool, I want to homeschool myself. I really enjoyed learning along with the kids. Understanding things I hadn't grasped as a child.
I'm trying to return to blogging. I'm having more trouble figuring out how to start blogs than a few years back. So much has changed. I have too many things that I want to share. One thing is to video "classes" that I can post. I have a lot of ideas here.
We need to declutter and organize many areas in our home and life. We have made a little progress in this over the last year. In becoming "handicapped," my husband had to rearrange numerous rooms so that I could gain independence. Then as I could do more, he needed to rearrange again.
I've been writing music a little bit and learning a lot of things that I didn't catch onto as a child. This has been a source of fun that is good for me. I'm learning technique through "doing." I've known that I learn best by doing and this has been such a blessing to me to "rediscover."
I want to "create" areas in our home for certain purposes. The areas I want to "create" have become more clear to me. Work areas. Grandkid areas. Time with God areas. Music areas. Relaxing areas. Travel areas. Pet areas. Just a few that I can think of off the top of my head.
So, a year of not being able to do much, has made me think. Sometimes I think I have too much time on my hands to contemplate my life. But, God gave me a chance to have a break by breaking my leg. He gave me time to think... After I had read a couple of good books that took me down a line of thinking that I was very ready for.
Eventful??? A bad break of my leg. A deer hitting our van and totaling it. Buying a vehicle that we can use to pull a trailer and adding a car payment. We did more driving to do things we enjoy in the last year than we normally do. We are talking about getting a new travel trailer. Our old one is 37 years old and the wood is soft. So, we've been looking. Both of us each had a month of being pretty sick. Thankfully, we did this separately....
Over the last few years we have enjoyed having one child at a time of some friends come to visit us for awhile. This last year it was hard to do this. This is something we want to do more. Eventually, we'd love to do the same with our grandkids.
My husband said after I broke my leg that he wanted to retire in 2-5 years. We are now at 1-? years - lol. We have talked a lot about what we want retirement to look like. We still have many things to discuss.
We are changing how we handle things with our adoptive son. We know he can't come home. He has been in two homes for boys who have difficulties. First one said he couldn't return when he was home on a visit. Second one was wanting him to leave because he could cause legal trouble for them due to his anger.
My husband has helped me incredibly in the household running. My weight has increased dramatically. I'm doing more of what I don't want to do so much of and less of what I desire to do. I've been on the computer way too much and watched SO MUCH TV. I never thought I'd be totally bored with this lifestyle.
Rewarding??? Changes in our marriage as I haven't been able to do. At first my husband had to do just about everything for me. When you need that much help, it is good to find reasons to laugh. Did you know that men & women pull their pants up differently??? Being on pain meds when I was so helpless brought words out of my mouth I never considering uttering. We have had a lot of fun....
We are discovering more how to disagree while being agreeable. We joke that I'm always right. But when I know I'm wrong, my husband say that my "rightness just isn't complete yet." When we were younger, we thought everything was so much more important than we realize now.
Changes??? I really need to get my weight down so that I can be more active. I've also had a lot of trouble with heartburn. I'm making some big changes to how I eat. My heartburn has been much better with these changes. I've also started to drop a few pounds.
We decided to get a puppy. We did this just as I was finishing up with physical therapy. I was doing pretty well but ended up mostly on the couch for a month. That took me backwards.... Sigh.... Then hubby had about a month on the couch too. The puppy has been a lot of fun but a lot of hard work.
What do I want to do??? Well the list seems to just keep getting longer.... Since I no longer have kids in the house to homeschool, I want to homeschool myself. I really enjoyed learning along with the kids. Understanding things I hadn't grasped as a child.
I'm trying to return to blogging. I'm having more trouble figuring out how to start blogs than a few years back. So much has changed. I have too many things that I want to share. One thing is to video "classes" that I can post. I have a lot of ideas here.
We need to declutter and organize many areas in our home and life. We have made a little progress in this over the last year. In becoming "handicapped," my husband had to rearrange numerous rooms so that I could gain independence. Then as I could do more, he needed to rearrange again.
I've been writing music a little bit and learning a lot of things that I didn't catch onto as a child. This has been a source of fun that is good for me. I'm learning technique through "doing." I've known that I learn best by doing and this has been such a blessing to me to "rediscover."
I want to "create" areas in our home for certain purposes. The areas I want to "create" have become more clear to me. Work areas. Grandkid areas. Time with God areas. Music areas. Relaxing areas. Travel areas. Pet areas. Just a few that I can think of off the top of my head.
So, a year of not being able to do much, has made me think. Sometimes I think I have too much time on my hands to contemplate my life. But, God gave me a chance to have a break by breaking my leg. He gave me time to think... After I had read a couple of good books that took me down a line of thinking that I was very ready for.
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