God is Changing Me

I've been thinking for a long time about being more consistent with my blogging. So... Here goes. I have quite a few things that I want to blog about and I have a number of blogsites. I'm going to devote this one to the hard things in life. Now this may sound like it will be a real discouraging subject. But, that isn't my intent.

I have learned SO MUCH in the hard parts of my life. God has used pain to bring about some of the biggest blessings that I have ever experienced. For example, what has happened since I broke my knee. I learned to rely on someone else rather than myself. I've had to learn a new way to balance my life. And, I make mistakes as I continue on this journey. Today, I was up and moving a fair amount. I got quite a bit done. Then, I sat down at a table to write some things out. My knee really started hurting by the time I was done. So I sat in my recliner couch and got my leg up. It took awhile for the pain to ease. But, yes, I got another chance to figure out the balance that is good for me.

In the process over the last three years, I've been learning something I had never understood. I don't have to be hard on myself. I can accept where I'm at. I've made a lot of progress in not feeling guilty for things I thought I should hold onto. I can let go of the sin in my life, the mistakes I make, errors in judgement. I have punished myself FAR MORE than God ever has. He doesn't want me to live life handicapped by guilt. This makes it easier for me to admit my faults, errors, sin.

This blogsite has a lot about what it was like to live with our RAD kiddos. I'll update a bit on that in a later post. This is still an area that I have some struggles in. And yes, growth happens through struggling through what has gone on.

This morning I sent my husband a text to remind him of a couple of things he'd forgotten yesterday. That got me to thinking about nagging. Uh yep, I'm female and I've been guilty of being a nag.

We women usually want to know that we've been heard. It speaks to the CORE of feeling valued. Men, on the other hand, tend to have one-track minds. Once they leave us & go onto the next thing, They totally focus on that. At work, work is the focus. Fixing the car, that's all they're thinking about. Now, I'm OVER exaggerating a bit here. But, it's pretty much the way they are. I used to fight this and EXPECT him to remember me & think about me ALL the time. I mean, he was on my mind almost all the time. Well, God really did create male & female differently. In accepting that, I do much better as a wife. But, I digress....

Back to nagging. How do I know if I'm being a nag??? THAT was so hard for me to figure out. I didn't think I was bringing something up a lot but he was overwhelmed with my input (on SO MANY THINGS). I even tried notes but those got lost. (I really am married to an "absent minded professor" type of guy)

What I finally got was that to nag, I was usually pretty emotionally invested in what is important to me. That was what drove my nagging. When I learned to step back and think things through, it was easier to approach him calmly. Then we had CONVERSATION.... That was what I had longed for in the beginning. We were able to talk back & forth about what was important and actually REMEMBERED better. Amazingly I felt more valued. And he did too.

Sometimes we think something is really important, especially as moms. We have to remember that a dad has his own unique role as a parent. He has his own unique role as the man of the house. I know I didn't understand that when I was younger. A dad does some things different with his children that we moms don't usually do. These things are just as valuable to our little ones. Yep, he may forget some things. But what is he giving that is more important than what he forgot? Just something to keep in mind....