Progress

My laptop died and I haven't had a computer that worked well for a LONG time. I finally bought an Apple laptop for myself. I'm learning how to use it - lol. It is going to take me awhile.

We have visited Jonathan a number of times and even brought him to Montana to see his brother and his family. He is making good progress in becoming more honest with us and trying harder to be respectful. We are pleased with how he is doing. He is definitely still not ready to come home but it has been SO NEAT to see the changes in him. We have been told he will always have quirks but I see the tender heart in my boy.

I'd like to post more later when I figure the photos out more on the Apple. I think it is supposed to be easy but I am kinda dumb right now. I paid for One to One classes at Apple for a year. So I get a whole year of training with personal help and then I should be able to go to a table with a trainer that rotates among 3-5 people helping them.

I'm actually trying to make a lot of changes in my life during this time. I have written down some goals for myself. I want to work on becoming the person God created me to be.

Changes

I haven't written for a long time. I had a hard time seeing the humor for the last year. We placed our daughter back into the foster care system since it wasn't safe for our son for her to be here. We have since reliinquished our rights. Our son became pretty unsafe at home even with her gone and too much for me to handle when I was alone. In early December we took him to a boys home that our therapist recommended in Kentucky. He has made very slow but steady progress. He has been fairly honest with us on the phone. The home is VERY structured and they attend school there. We will go for our first visit in a few weeks. They have a strict policy about how and when and how long for phone calls and visits too. Everything is planned to give the child and parents gradual steps. It is expected that Jonathan will talk with us about how he behaved at home before he returns home.

Our trip to take him was kinda interesting. He had been VERY out of control at home and we took him to respite for a few days after a therapy appointment. We had hoped that it would all work out when we took him to therapy, which was the day after his incident. The therapist called the respite provider and she agreed to take him and we arranged to pick him up in a few days and we flew him to the home. He acted like we were on a vacation the whole time. The respite provider advised us not to tell him until we were on the property. I certainly didn't want to tell him until we were off all flights. I was sure he would've made GREAT use of his captive audience - LOL!!!

We got to Nashville and no luggage arrived. We took him to the home anyway and they had things to get by for him. He was thrilled with all our driving until we drove up a road and that had a very large house. Then he says, "what have I gotten myself into?" Hmmm - I wonder? We got inside and I took him in my lap and explained what was happening. We went into the office and rules were discussed and Jonathan was taken by an older boy to get some clothes and then the goodbyes came. It was still hard even though we knew it was the best thing for him.

We have heard maturity in his voice as he talks to us on the phone over time. He isn't whining and he sounds much more grown up. Usually very serious. One time he told us he was working to come home. He said he didn't want to see the therapist anymore. I let him know that he would still need to work on things once he came home and would need to see him. He accepted that with, "yes Mom."

The next phone call was a much lighter tone of voice. He was still respectful but just sounded like he was settling in better. Then we called from Canada when we visited the older kids. He got to talk to his big brother. He knew that we were with everyone. He was sad when it was time to hang up. Hard things to face at ten. But, my little boy has a tender heart in there. I have seen it many times. I'm looking forward to seeing him and hugging him in a few weeks. To seeing what he's been doing. To seeing what changes have occured in him. I know he still has a long way to go. We've been told to expect this to take a year or two. It will just be nice to spend some time seeing what his life is like right now and getting a feel so we will be in touch with what he will need when he does come home.

I know - not as much of my humorous side or fun stuff in this post. I haven't blogged much on any of my sites. Just trying to kinda get back into it a bit.

Another Rainbow

Your rainbow is intensely shaded yellow, blue, and brown.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is says about you: You are a tranquil person. You appreciate the roughness of nature. You feel closer to people when you understand their imperfections. You're good at getting people to like you.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

Another Rainbow

Your rainbow is intensely shaded yellow, blue, and brown.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is says about you: You are a tranquil person. You appreciate the roughness of nature. You feel closer to people when you understand their imperfections. You're good at getting people to like you.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

Just To Be Clear

Jonathan is so funny. We left him with some friends tonight for their teenage daughter to babysit. As we were leaving, he started talking about wanting a Nintendo DS. I just shook my head since we have been down this road before. He isn't ready for one. So, he says, "maybe I can buy one with my own money." I said, "when you have some." I told the mother he owes us 200 dollars. Jonathan pops out with, "no, 201 dollars." Funny boy - it had to be accurate!

We are really trying to help him get this worked down to nothing. He needs to feel that he has succeeded at this. He likes to keep himself in the mode of having problems and issues to deal with. He likes his life to be negative. We are making him do chores and paying him well right now to get this down quickly. It has been up at this level for months and he keeps it up. Sad, isn't it?

Long Time

I haven't updated in a long time. There has been quite a bit that has happened and quite a bit of stress. I don't want to get into all of that. I have other blogs that I vent all of that on. This is technically my "fun" blog. But, just for a quick update on life.

Our oldest son and his wife are unexpectingly expecting. lol We are thrilled!! My husband has been itching to hint for grandbabies ever since they got married in May '07. I have felt like I have been holding back a team of wild restless horses. I kept telling him to let them get settled; for him to get done with school and get a job. They were going to come for Christmas and he was talking about his hinting again. UGH!! MEANWHILE - I was seeing some interesting status messages on my daughter-in-laws facebook that made me question things. She has always talked about wanting babies since before they got married and the talk was increasing. SO, I told her that I was going to have to hold "Dad" back at Christmas time. We got a phone call, "you won't have to hold Dad back at Christmas time." LOL

Our daughter was pining for a certain young man all last Christmas break. I told her she was pining. She denied it with all her she had in her - kinda. I enjoyed giving her a hard time about this. In February, they began dating while in Guatemala. This summer she was home and went insane at being apart. But, she still questioned at times on marrying him - lol. She said their plans were to get married in the fall of '09. Oh, she can confuse her Mama. I got an e-mail from her young man. He wanted to know when would be a good time for him to call us. Hmmm He calls. You all guessed it!! We wait and wait to hear that he has asked her. We finally hear. So, the wedding date? May 16th!! YIKES!!

We had the blessing of having ALL of the kids down for Christmas. Our son and his wife, our daughter and her intended. In that time we had a wedding to plan. My daughter and her fiance did most of the planning. I asked some questions here and there. The biggest thing I did was go shopping for a wedding dress with her. We really felt the time crunch here. Had to do this over the break. She was returning to Canada after Christmas. The program they are in in college takes them to Guatemala and El Salvador from Mid January to the beginning of April. They will return to Canada and be there to finish classes until the last weekend of April. Then, she returns home and we have three weeks before the wedding.

It was VERY busy over Christmas!! Our little RAD boy raged a lot, but that wasn't all that unexpected. All the older kids concluded that they didn't understand this new method of parenting that we have. We use a lot of reverse psychology on him - works quite well with him. We also disappear sometimes when he has a rage and have a party. We ordered pizza one night while they were all here and we all holed up in a bedroom. They had all already disappeared into the bedroom to play a game when the difficulties had gotten going. When things kept going, we ordered the pizza and when it arrived, we joined them. We took our laptop in and watched "Lost." Our son sees that he is missing out on the fun and that there is no one engaging in his games. He tries to keep us engaged in "catch me if you can" and taunts us by coming at us and then backing away, hitting at us or he will throw things at us to get our attention.

The real blessing over Christmas was to see that we DID know how to parent. We HAD been successful. Our older two had reconnected well after the teenage years of wanting to separate. Not only that, their chosen ones were connecting into the mix well too. To hear the four of them laughing together, teasing and having fun was such a joy. To know that they could talk about us and come to conclusions that they didn't understand us - lol. To see them enjoy playing a game together and accuse each other of cheating and laughing about that. What joy!

We had a murder mystery dinner together. We had fun with that. This was something that I have wanted to do for years. I had never dreamed that it would be with my kids. I loved it. This was the best Christmas that my husband and I can ever remember having. Just had to catch things up a bit and share.

Some More Fun

Sometimes I like to do these fun quizes just to see:

Your rainbow is shaded white.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is says about you: You are a contemplative person. You appreciate quiet moments. People depend on you to make them feel secure.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.