Dating

I realize that dating has changed a lot since I was a young woman. There is a different degree of the need for safety. I came across some of the "bad" and "unsafe" side of dating too. Even phone conversations.... I had a guy that called regularly. We'd talk a bit and then he'd start telling me he could rape me. I don't know WHY I continued to talk to him and even met him at a football game. EXCEPT....

I DO know why. I was incredibly insecure and thought I'd never measure up. I had parents who just couldn't provide what I really needed. It took me MANY years to learn that I have to provide myself with the love God desires for me to feel. I had to learn to look to Him in ways that couldn't be "taught" to me. Some children grow up sensing the love of their parents; I didn't.

I looked to guys to fill that need. Even my marriage was hard for a lot of years. I was still looking for him to fill me up. As I've spent the last few years changing my view of God, marriage, who I am in myself and in God I am blessed to be content with my life.

So, back to dating.... Always meet in public places. In my day the guy came to pick the girl up. I'm glad I met that guy AT the game rather than him picking me up. If someone's mannerisms or talk screams, "GET OUT OF HERE!!" Heed the warning that you heard.

Set boundaries for yourself and stick to them. Don't let someone fool you. Use the instinct that God put inside you to know when you are in a good or bad relationship. Women usually have a greater sense of relationships. Use that and stay safe. I'll be writing more on dating; along with marriage, parenting & what it is to grow older.

Learning to Live Life: Desire To Change This Blog Focus

Learning to Live Life: Desire To Change This Blog Focus

Desire To Change This Blog Focus

There have been SO MANY changes in life over the last few years. I'm wanting to get back into blogging again. I want to provide encouragement from some of the things I've learned throughout my life. It certainly hasn't been the mundane "normal" life I envisioned as I grew up. God has been INCREDIBLY FAITHFUL to take me through some really rough times to some not so rough times. Actually, I'm pretty content with my life right now. NOW, don't get me wrong.... There are still some things that are hard, hard, hard in my life. But, I choose not to focus on those. I deal with those issues occasionally. But I refuse to let them be WHO I AM. I believe God wants more out of me than that. SURE WISH I'D UNDERSTOOD THAT at an earlier age.

So, if anyone has things that interest you.... Please share them with me. I have LOTS of ideas but am open (to anything I have a clue about).

Looking Forward to Retirement

In October we bought a Yamaha scooter for me. Three days later, I literally "tipped over" when I was stopped because I wanted my husband to take a picture. The result was my tibia broke at the top into four pieces. Surgery and a number of days in the hospital and I was back home. Life had just MAJORLY changed!! My husband had to do SO MUCH for me. It was even difficult to get dressed. He took a LOT of time of work to care for me. What did we learn??? We REALLY LIKE spending time together. The things we had been working on in our relationship were WORKING WELL!! We both have sensed that we are closer to retirement. If we could do it now, it would be GREAT!! In the last four months I've been in a wheelchair, used a walker, been on crutches, one crutch and now use a cane. Muscles don't do well when they haven't been used. I'm experiencing "sore" muscles frequently as I work toward more activity. We have learned a new patience with each other and what is most valuable in life. If housework doesn't get done, it's ok. If I'm in pain, he waits on me. It was hard for him to get back to working regularly again. He's experienced burnout and it was a bit of a break in his routine when he needed to be home. He did work on work as he could when he was home. When I was younger, I wanted all his time. With all we've been through in life, I can leave him alone now so he can focus. Life is still a bit crazy but in a WONDERFUL way. I love our talks. I'm so glad we can talk about what isn't right in our marriage. After all, no marriage or person is perfect. Acceptance of each other as we are has helped us to grow.

It has been a VERY LONG time sinced I've blogged anywhere. So much has happened. Life has changed for the better a LOT.

Resolutions???

I gave up making New Year's resolutions MANY years ago. And yet, there are a lot of things that I want to work on in the year 2012. They are a continuation of what I have already begun in this journey called "life." I have become pretty tired of the way life has been and have been making changes. Part of it has been to have tighter boundaries and not just let people run all over me and part of it has been to look at WHO God wants me to be. In this, I am seeing myself as more valuable than I have previously.

My husband and I started Medifast in August. Of course, being a man, he lost his weight quite rapidly. I'm still plugging along. I have about half my weight off and took somewhat of a break over Christmas while we had the grown kids home. I'm going to get back on the plan tomorrow and one of my goals is to get better at exercising. I bought a Wii to help me with that and I have enjoyed my time on Wii Fit. Seeing the kids enjoying the Wii over Christmas was a HUGE boost for me!!!

I had been regular about reading my Bible but December kinda through a kink in my routine. I need to get back on track. I also need to read my Medifast and have some more things I want to go through to help me to grow. Search for Significance was recommended to me by our pastor and that is my first goal.

We discovered this last year that my husband has ADHD and this has been interesting. He has started medication and has been reading a book about it. I have started paying the bills now. This has been a bit of a challenge for me to take this on since I hadn't had anything to do with the finances for 25 years. PHEW!!! ONLINE BANKING?!?!?! But, I'm learning and figuring things out. I frequently ask my husband questions. One pay period I made a HUGE mistake and he had to transfer money from one bank to our checking to cover it. I had OVER paid the bills. But, I have NOW figured out how to avoid that. SIGH... I think I'm catching onto everything I have to look at now - lol.

Do I NEED resolutions??? I don't think so. Maybe some people do. For me, they just end up being pressure I place on myself and then I fail and feel defeated. I prefer to aim for goals that end up being growth I want to achieve. I think this fits better with who God created me to be. So, I'm going to go back to a small daily checklist like I've had most of our marriage. I don't have to get a TON of things done in a day to be successful. This is very important for me in not feeling overwhelmed and just quitting. I WILL succeed this way!!!

God Wants Us TO GROW

Well, as seems to be par for the course in our household, we recently went through another time of stress. In that stress, I was fairly calm but VERY aware that God wanted some changes in perspective in the way we look at life. It wasn't an easy time. But, it was a growing time.

In thirty years of marriage, it has been, less than ideal. I finally put my foot down a few years back about some things and I haven't backed down. This hasn't been the norm for me in our relationship and it has caused MAJOR issues. I refuse to go back. We have discovered a few things through this. My husband has ADHD and is now on meds. WOW!!! This, along with him working on his relationship with God and reading a book by a spouse of an ADD person has made a difference. Are we close to where I'd like to be? NO!!! Thirty years takes a toll and there is a LOT to repair. But, on to what God did recently...

I had been sensing the need to do some things around our home. Organizing some, decluttering, etc. My husband just didn't see it as strongly as I did but was helping anyway. We had had many conversations on what my needs were in this regard. I didn't really say much about what I was sensing. That usually seemed to backfire on me. Then, we got a phone call from the home that Jonathan is in. Some things were going on there. We didn't know if we were going to need to bring him home immediately or not.

YIKES!!! His room is COMPLETELY filled with things that we moved in there when we fixed up the bedrooms for the older two kids. They now bring spouses home and the bedrooms needed a few changes. Jonathan doesn't even have a bed anymore; he broke his - SIGH!!! We talked about what needed to be done in the house to make it friendly for our son. There was still damage that he had done to our home that had not been repaired. It was EXTREMELY important that he NOT come home to see that!! We haven't had him home for a visit yet due to this. When he sees his home again for the first time, it needs to be with a fresh start.

My husband and I started a list and have been working on getting things done. We will spend most of our Thanksgiving holiday working on this. In this we have discussed what God is doing in our life. I told him what I had felt God pressing upon me. It took a couple of days of processing for me to see that God was REALLY impressing on me that we are to be READY at ALL TIMES for WHATEVER HE MAY bring into our life. We are NOT to sit idle when we KNOW that there are things that need to be worked on in ourselves, our home, etc. We still don't know if Jonathan will need to come home or not. But it doesn't matter. What matters is, that we are to BE PREPARED for God to MOVE in us.

Soooo, we have been busy. We are almost done with phase one of project one. It is a BIG project!!! I'm hoping to finish phase one really soon and move on to phase two. Meanwhile, we have emptied some bookshelves in a little room we have and those will get loaded up with art supplies. I have also looked at homeschool needs in case Jonathan does need to come home. One of the interesting things in all of this, is that I had brought up some things with my husband about how to deal with some things with Jonathan. We had already talked through what we should do about schooling when he comes home. We had already started discussing things regarding how things should be when he comes home. I had been feeling the need to get this out on the table too and he was open. God works to prepare our hearts and prepare us for the future even when we don't what the future holds. But HE DOES!!! And we CAN TRUST HIM WITH IT!!!